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The Beginning

With head full of doubts
And with heart full of fear
I decided to go for a solo travel for a first time
Took the bus from Old Bus Park around 1pm made me still confused; whether I could make to the destination on time or not
Got off from Bus at Taudaha
Asked locals the direction to reach “White House View Point”
Met strangers on the way, who became friends for a while
Gone through the muddy trails & the forests
Uphill & downhill made the travel even more adventurous
Explored the lifestyle & beauty of nature at the same time
Finally! Reached to the top point 😁😊💙
I felt I won the victory over all the procrastinators who think that a single woman shouldn’t/cannot travel alone
All I want to say is BELIEVE IN YOURSELF
And whole the world conspires it to happen
So, hey girls!
Get out of your comfort zone,
Gear up
Free yourself &
Tavel as much as you want 😉

भ्रम

कथाका पात्रहरु: सुलब(Main Character), समीर र किरण। यश कथामा भएका पात्रहरु काल्पनिक हुन्।

समय: बेलुकाको ७:४५ बजेतिर
स्थान: सिटी सेन्टर
दिन: शुक्रबार
आज आफ्नो साथिभाईसँग अफिसबाट फिल्म हेर्न जाने सल्लाह गर्दै थियौँ। साथिहरु नि हप्ताभरिको कामले थकित भएका र शुक्रबार पनि भएर जाने भयौं । हामी करिब ७:३० तिर सिटी सेन्टर पुग्यौं । मेरो साथी समिरले टिकट काट्यो। हाम्रो शो आठ बजेको थियोे। म र मेरो साथि किरण त्यस्तै ७:४५ बजे कफि र चिप्स लिन गयौं। काउण्टरको अलि नजिक पुग्छु त कतै नजिकबाट परिचित आवाज सुन्छु। मेरो मन आत्तेर आउँछ। म आफ्नो मन सम्हाल्न सक्दिन र फर्किन्छु। जब म फर्के तब मेरो मनको ढुकढुकी एकदम जोरले ढड्किन लाग्यो। हातमा भएको कफि भुइमा झर्‍यो। आखाभरि आशुका धारा बग्न थाले। मेरो स्वर काम्न थाले जब मैले आफ्नो बुवालाई देखे।

बुवालाई अर्कै आईमाई र बालबच्चा सङ्ग देख्दा म अचम्मित भए। आफ्नो बुवालाई कसैले बाबा भन्दिदा छानोबाट झर्या जस्तो अनुभव हुदोरहेछ ।
मलाई जान्न मन थियो बुवाले किन हामीलाई झुठो आश्वाशनमा राख्नुभयो भनेर। उहाँलाई सधैं म प्रेरणाको सोर्त मान्थे। बुवा मेरो मिल्ने साथि हुनुहुन्थ्यो । सानासाना कुराहरु नि हामी एकअर्कालाई भन्ने गर्थियौं । घरको आर्थिक स्थिति राम्रो नभएर विदेश जानुभएको थियो।

तीन महिना पछाडि आफ्नो सामु बुवालाई त्यस अवास्थामा देख्दा मन विचलित भयो। मिठा पलहरु तितामा बदलिगयो। ज्योतिको प्रकाश अध्यारोमा बिलाई गयो।
सपनाहरु सबै उजारि गयो र विश्वासका साहाराहरु भत्किगयो। म झस्किए किनकी म भ्रममा पो रहेछु।

 

मुर्ति

किन बोल्देनौ? किन चुप छौ? केहि त बोल…??? उनको आँसु सुकिसकेछ। मलाई जान्न मन लाग्यो उनको मौनता…..

यो कथा हरेक घरको हो ।
धेरै खुशी थिए सबैजना, दु्ःख सुख गरेर भएपनि चलिरहेको थियो जिन्दगी, तर सधै सुख मात्र हुदैन रहेछ, दु्ःख पनि हुदो रहेछ। जिन्दगी सधै गुलाफको फुलसरि हुन्न रहेछ, कहिलेकाही काँडा, कहिले घाम त कहिले पानी, कहिले हुरि त कहिले मन्द हावासरि बन्न पुग्दो रहेछ।
अचानक उनको जिवनमा ठूलो आँधिबेरी आईपुग्यो। उनको सपनाहरु एकपलको हुरिले तहसनहस भयो। उनी केही बोल्न सकिनन्। त्यहि बेला देखि उनको बोली कम भयो। जे सोध्यो त्यति कुराको जवाफ दिन्थिन। टोलाएर बस्थिन , के भयो, कसले के गर्यो सोध्दा केही भएको छैन भनेर टार्थिन। ऊनको मौनतामा ठुला रहस्यमय भावनाहरु लुकेका थिए।
कथा यस प्रकार लम्क्यो……………………..
एक रात उनको श्रीमान र उनी बिच छलफल भइरहेको थियो, बिस्तारै त्यो झगडामा परिवर्तन भयो। सानो झगडा त झन ठूलो भयो, अत्ति डरलाग्दो। उनी चिच्याउन थालिन्  रुन थालिन् तर उनको श्रीमानले झन् पिट्न थाले – कस्तो जनावर जस्तो व्यवहार। मान्छे यो हदसम्म जान्छ भन्ने कल्पना गरेको थिइनन् उनले। त्यो दिन घरमा छोरी मात्र थिइन। बाबु आमा त्यसरी झगडा गरेको देख्न सकिन र सानै भएपनि झगडा छुट्टयाउन गइन्। तर त्यो राक्षसले छोरीलाई नि छोडेन। रिस र रक्सिको मातमा उसले छोरीलाई पनि पिट्यो। छोरी रोईन् ,अामाले रोकिन्  र बुढाको खुट्टा ढोकेर माफ मागिन् र अबदेखि मुख नलाग्ने बाचा खाइन्। उनी छोरी लिएर अर्को कोठामा गइन् र छोरीलाई सम्झाएर सुताईन्। छोरी सुतिसकेपछि उनी आफुले आफैलाई धिक्कार्न थालिन , म एक अलक्षिण, म मा नै केही खोट छ भन्दै, रुन, कराउन थालिन। उनी रातभर रोइन् , कराइन् , आँसु सबै सुक्यो गालामै र विस्तारै त्यो रात डर-त्रास मै बित्यो उनको। भोलिपल्ट बिहान उठिन् , सधैंझै नुहाएर , पुजा गरेर, खाना पकाएर, बच्चालाई स्कुल पुर्याएर, आफ्नो पसलमा व्यस्त भइन् । साझ परेपछि फेरी बुढा रक्सि पिएर आयो, त्यो रातपनि उनलाई नराम्रो तालमा पिट्यो। ति बिचरीको गल्ती त केही थिएन, त्यहीपनि पिट्दै गयो, झन नराम्रो शब्द प्रयोग गर्दै गयो। दुखाइले कराई रहेकी थिईन, तर उनले गाली र पिटाइ खानुभन्दा केही विकल्प देखिनन्। उनको एउटा सानो छोरा पनि थियो, बच्चाहरूलाई प्रत्यक्ष वा अप्रत्यक्ष रुपमा असर पारिरहेको थियो ।
के थियो त यस झगडाको रहस्य? उनलाई जान्न मन लाग्यो। केही गल्ती नभइकन किन पिट्थ्यो उसलाई? कुन जन्मको पाप गर्या थियो र भन्ने आदि उत्यादि कुराहरू उठ्न लाग्यो उनको मनमा।
एक रात उनीहरू सबैले खाना खाइसकेपछि र बच्चाहरू सुतिसकेपछि उनी आफ्नो बुढा भएको ठाउँमा गइन र बुढालाई के कस्तो छ भनेर सोधिन्। त्यस रात बुढाले खाएको थिएन। तर जब उनले प्रश्न गर्न थालिन , उसको बुढाले वास्ता नगरे जस्तो गर्यो। उनको बुढा मोबाइल चलाएर बस्न थाल्यो। उनको धेरै प्रयासमा पनि  नसुनेको जस्तो गरिदिदा उनलाई धेरै रिस उठ्यो र कराउन थालिन्। उनको रिसको सिमा रहेन , होस पनि त कसरी? रात पर्नासाथ उनको केही गल्ति नभइ नि उसलाई भुस्या कुकुरभन्दा बढि पिट्थ्यो। उनको मनभित्र आगो बलिरहेको थियो , धेरै प्रश्नहरु मनमा थियो, कसलाई, किन सोध्न मन आतुर भइरहेको थियो र त्यो सबै रिस, झोक, पिडा, बेथा उनले निकालिन्। मनमा जे कुरा आयो उनले भन्न थालिन्, अरु केहि कुराको वास्ता नगरीकन , उनले सिर्फ आफ्नो मनको कुरा सुनिन , बस आफ्नो मनको…..!!!
रिसमा केही देखिन, उनले मनमा जे आयो त्यही बोल्न थालिन् । के कारणले आज यो समयमा आएर यो बेथा भोक्नु पर्ने उनले, के गल्तीको सजाय दिनु भएको भन्दै कराउन थालिन् उनी। एकछिनपछि बुढाले केही नभनि पिट्न थाले, उनको कम्मरमा पेटिले पिट्दै गए, उनी कराउँदै, रुन थालिन् , गुहार माग्दै गइन् तर कोही आएन। छोराछोरी सानै थिए, चाहेर नि केही गर्न सकेनन्, सक्थे त सिर्फ आफ्नो कोठाभित्र लुकेर बस्न। छोरीले बुवाको पिटाइ पहिल्यै खाइसकेकि थिइन, त्यहि कारणले होला सायद उसले आफ्नो भाइ र आफुलाई बचाउनुभन्दा अरु केही उपाय देखिन।
धेरै बेरपछि त्यो एैया, मरे, नाइ जस्ता शब्दहरु बिस्तारै हराउदै गए। एकछिनमा सुनसान भयो, लाग्यो कि कालो रात, मसानघाट झै भएको महसुस भयो त्यो ठाउँ , पुरै सुनसान। एक थोपा पानी चुहिदा पनि ठुलै आवाज आउंथ्यो। छोरी डराइन् तर ऊ कोठाबाट निस्किन सकिन र भित्रै बसि भाइलाई समाति आमा आमा गर्न थाली….. रुदा रुदै सुतिन……।
भोलि सबेरै छोरी आफ्नो स्कुल जानलाग्दा उसले कोहि रोइरहेको सुनिन् र रोइरहेको ठाउँमा पुग्दा आफ्नो आमालाई भेटिन् , उनको आमा भान्छा कोठामा लडिरहेकी थिइन् , उनको ओठ चिरिएको थियो, निधारमा चोट ठुलो थियो र कपाल खुकुलो थियो। आमाको त्यो हालत देखेर छोरी आमालाई सम्हाल्न गइहालिन। बुवा बिहानै घरबाट निस्किसकेका थिए।
आमा छोरीलाई समाति भक्कानो फुट्नेगरि रोइन् , छोरीले नरुनुभन्दै आमालाई ओच्छ्यानसम्म ल्याइन। आमालाई तातो सुप बनाएर सुताइन् र त्यो दिन उनी आमाको हेरचाह गर्न घरमै बसिन।
राति आमा बिउझिन् र आफुले आफुलाई नै घृणा गर्न थालिन् । सबै दोष आफुलाई दिन थालिन् , उनिसंग केही विकल्प थिएन। उनी यसै घर छोडेर भाग्न नि सक्थिनन् किन भने उनको छोराछोरीलाई छोडेर गयो भने उनीहरुको बिजोग हुने बुझिसकेकि थिइन् उनले। उनीसंग न त पढाइ थियो न त धनसम्पति  नै, उनले केही गर्न सकिनन, उनीसंग केही प्रमाण नि थिएन। एउटै मात्र उपाय थियो………….. चुप लागेर बस्ने, बस् चुप लाग्ने।

How beautiful it would be

How beautiful it would be, if I had met you before

How beautiful it would be, if I had shared my feelings

How beautiful it would be, if we had felt for each other

How beautiful it would be, to fall in love with you forever….

But, yeah time and destiny does not favor

It does not move as we wished for

You are happy with other & I’m too

But, however we try to hide our feelings

It just comes out when we meet

I miss those late night chats, those slang words to call each other

Yeah, I miss those all weird moments  & the time spent with you

I wish I had a time machine to change all the settings

And live the life with you once more

I wish….

How beautiful it would be to fall in love with you!!!

 

10 Quotes that help you to be more Mindful Today _/\_ :)

When we think about mindfulness, the act of being mindful in our daily lives, we often refer to it as the state of being completely in the present moment. This means no mind wandering about the past or the future. It’s difficult, but important if we want to reduce stress and start to build that inner power to resist future stress – which really do carry a negative impact on our overall well-being. Here are 10 quotes to help get you into that mindful state and living in the present moment. Do take some time to think about each and apply them to your day.

 

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1. “Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment.” – Buddha

2. “Every morning ask ‘if today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?” – Steve Jobs

3.“Time is a created thing. To say “I don’t have time”, is like saying, “I don’t want to”.” –Lao-Tzu

4.“Thousands of candles can be lighted from a single candle, and the life of the candle will not be shortened. Happiness never decreases by being shared.” – Buddha

5. “Often he who does too much does too little.” – Italian Proverb

6. “The shorter way to do many things is to do only one thing at a time.” – Mozart

7. “Peace comes from within. Do not seek it without.” – Buddha

8. “What you focus on expands.” – Buddha

9. “Meditation is exercise for the mind.” – Chade-Meng Teng

10. “When you arise in the morning, think of what a precious privilege it is to be alive – to breathe, to think, to enjoy, to love.” – Marcus Aurelius

Source: Mindful Tech Lab

 

Addicted

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He was really close to me, he was my best friend, my champ, my ideal in life and what not. Since childhood, I used to be very close to him. I used to share every little things with him and he too used to. It has not been a single day that I’d my dinner without him. I used to wait him till evening so that we could go out together and spend time with each other. If I was at wrong direction, he used to guide me, he used to motivate me to do better things in life, he made me realize the importance of life. He was non other than my, “Dad”. My true inspiration in life. If anyone used to go against him, I could not bear the pain, I used to beat them up or shout at them.

As time passed, things got changed. He got busy at office till late night. My mom and  my brother used to make me have the dinner but without him, I used to feel bad. I used to wait him for dinner but when he used to come home, he already used to have dinner outside with his friends. I expected the same love and care from him most importantly the,”Time”. The days passed on, slowly and gradually, he became away from me.

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One fine morning, I woke up and went at my dad’s room. My mom told me that he have already left due to his important office work. It was my birthday on that day. How can he forget that easily, he could at least have met me. All these things dwelled  on my head.  Again, I consoled myself that may be he had really some important work. Then, I called him and asked for evening dinner outside. My heart really ached when he replied me this – I have already grown up, I can do the things on my own so why do I need to ask permission? He told that I can now differentiate between what is good or bad for me and be responsible accordingly. He warned me not to be childish anymore. I cried a lot that day,  I got frustrated with myself. I didn’t know what should I do, how should I do, to whom should I share the things because I wasn’t close with my mom & brother. I blamed myself for everything else.

Days got passed in the way it was before, dad used to leave home early and come home lately. My mom and dad often used to get involved in the fights, their relation with each other was not working well. I heard from my mom that he was having an affair outside. I really felt bad, I was feeling the way as if everything got lost & destroyed. I approached dad to talk about the matter rather, he yelled at me saying it’s non of my business to get involved at. I should focus on study and build my career. I tried to convince him that he is not doing right, but my effort got useless. Later,I used to have rare conversation with me.  May be, for him, me and my family were less prioritized than other women. May be, he lost interest on us, may be he is bored of us, may be he is fucking retarded serving us every time on her growth, health, education, career and everything.

सम्बन्धित छवि

I blamed myself of not being able to do anything for my mom. I got lost with myself most of the times into my own world. I lost interest at my studies and I quit the study. My world got limited inside the small room where I used to spend most of my days. After a month, a letter of divorce came from dad to my mom. They got separated and mom got more stronger than before. She never let go of our dreams and struggled for us; even though she was riding through hell.  She asked me to re-join the college but I got Indifferent and didn’t helped myself.

I didn’t have good circle of friends. Moreover, it was on my hand to improve or to degrade my life. In between the struggle and short-term happiness, I chose happiness and forgot about the struggles. My friends used to suggest me a series of movie, I didn’t know what kind of movie it was but yeah, it made me entertained, relaxed and had some erotic feelings inside me. I used to get more excited when I used to smoke and take drugs. I got addicted to the negative things moreover like PORN movies, SEX, DRUGS, CIGARETTES, etc. Drug became only my friend both in my happy and sad moments.  I could not think beyond it, I couldn’t think there’s still a life, my family, the responsibilities and other things. Yeah, DRUG became my best friend.

सम्बन्धित छवि

Many a YOUTHS like Nirvan gets abided of the small things in life; be it the Happiness or the Opportunities. Both parents and a person himself/herself is responsible for the consequences like Nirvan have faced.  There’s a belief that your kids learn what you SHOW them and not where you TEACH them. The children discipline starts from home and parents are the important Pillars in shaping them ( growth and development). How old kids turn out, they always have the same expectation and feelings from their parents that remain deep rooted inside them. Money is  important but not in maintaining the relation. Love, Time, Care, Possession and all those social factors  is important. Parents need to understand these factors at right time.

I would like to connect the story with a Dog. You adopt a dog from shop, you take care of it pretty well, you love, you take it to long drive, you make it eat healthy on time and you pamper. What does he give in return? It would protect you from enemies, it would safeguard your home, right? But, if you get disconnected slowly with it then, you know what behavior it shows towards you. It won’t protect you, it try to get away from you and does not safeguard your home. If dog too needs attention then, we are a social animal, we too need a people to hear us, to share our feelings and experiences and a love and affection.

Human’s need to feel a sense of belonging and acceptance among their social groups and family. If they are loved and accepted the way they are before, it should be made consistent.If children are on the wrong direction, they should be guided timely. Its not that one should be strict every time but both strictness and freedom should be balanced according to situation.  Also, not only the parents are responsible for the self-growth, he/she should be able to recognize what’s good/ bad for them. I would like to suggest the YOUTHS that,”Live a Meaningful Life, your life is not only connected with yourself but also with the other people around you. Live the life to the fullest without any regrets”.